I don't really know how to start this. I think all of us who have friends have been through this. Just let me share my own experience la ho.
I've wanted to blog about this since like forever but I just don't want to do it when I'm hurt and angry. To some of you who might know me and my bunch of friends, you might notice that it's not the same bunch no more. Ada yang missing kan? No need la to mention names.
You might wonder what caused it, right? I don't really know. But most probably it's because of the things that were left unsaid. I'm like a volcano. I usually keep things to myself. What made me erupt was the fact that she was talking about me behind my back to someone who I consider a stranger. He's not literally a stranger la, just that I don't know him well even though he's my senior. She keeps telling him personal stuff about me. For what reason, I still don't know why. The senior said it's because they're concerned about me. Yea right! If they're so concerned, then why don't you ask me straight? Furthermore, what's to be concerned about? Let's just call her Lady Buttkiss. We used to do stuff together , shop together.. But now we're like complete strangers. I'm hurt by her action. Lady Buttkiss likes to turn the stories around. I was like real mad when I was accused of doing stuff I didn't do. What the fish man! Haih. You might think it's no big deal but to me, that's betrayal. I can't tell you the whole story here for privacy purposes. If you want to know more, then ask me.
I'm just tired of her sacrificing her friends just to please the senior. I don't like buttkissers. I never did like those kind of people even when it was my b*** they were kissing. Buttkissers are never a good kind of friend because they never tell you the truth. If you (Lady Buttkiss) are reading this, then you should know that we ARE very hurt by your actions. When will you stop? And now that this has happen, you try to make it look as if we are the villains. Would you please come clean for once? I've forgiven you twice for the same mistake, but why do you keep repeating it? I'm really disappointed with you. But you know what, if you'd only admit your wrongdoings and say sorry, I know I'd still find a way to forgive you. Don't ask for my trust though. Because I can't give you that anymore. I've seen how you handle people's trust and I don't like it.
I can't promise you my friendship but I can smile everytime we meet. We won't be friends but we won't be enemies either. Let's just be acquaintances.
Maybe you'll scorn at this post. Maybe you'll pretend that I'm talking about someone else. Or maybe you'll just taint my image more by saying things about me to your so-called current friends. I no longer care. Because I know, someday the people who are on your side now will feel what I feel.
In your craze in overtaking people, in putting yourself high up above the others, you sacrificed your friends who once upon a time would stand by you no matter what. Friends who would share your burdens without complaining. Friends who would eat instant noodles with you when you hit a financial crisis. Friends who would have your back in any situation.
I hope you would not do the same mistake with your friends now. Do not betray anyone else anymore. Because if you keep destroying things around you, in the end you'd have to build it all up from the beginning. And friendship is not something that you could build up with lies.
I don't hate you. I really don't. I might have said it out of anger but deep down I don't hate you. May peace be with you :)
Let's snap out of the moppy mood. *snap* Alright, back to the happy me :D These are some of my favourite quotes on friendship that I picked up from here and there:
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
This might be my last post for this semester. So people, may your friendships be filled with pastel rainbows and fluffy bunnies :). And even when your friendship gets rocky, I hope that you'd get through it and one day laugh about it. It's possible to pull through, believe me. I've been through it and now I laugh when I think about those times. Your friends will hurt you, no matter how close you are. You just have to decide whether your friendship is worth it. If it is, then find a way to forgive. If it is not, then being alone is better than being in bad company :)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE :)
p/s: see you next semester mr. hot stuff! :D
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