Have you ever wondered how life would be if you were born as the opposite sex? I did. Numerous times. Don't get me wrong. I love being a girl :)
If I ever wished I was born a boy it would be because I want to be able to understand my 3 little bros. My little sisters have Wawa as an excellent role model already. But my lil bros, oh..the 3 of them. I wish I knew what big bros would do for/with their lil bros. The eldest of them 3 is now 17 years old. I know, I know. Not so little anymore right. But he'll forever be the little baby who smelled like milk. He'll forever be the little kid for whom I punched my nephew for. And no matter how tough he tries to act, he'll forever be the little boy who cried with me during a sad movie.
I know he's going through a very tricky stage of life right now. And I wish I can stand by him every second. I wish the same for my other brothers too. But as I've learnt, sometimes in life there are certain bridges in which you have to go over on your own. Because it'll make you stronger.
Sometimes I don't understand what's going on in his head. And at those times, gosh, I'd be really angry. I know it's hard to be the first-born male in the house. I know it's hard to live up to other people's expectations. I know the his teachers are always comparing him with us, the elder siblings. I know, I know. And I know, sometimes it pressures him so much that he's bound to label himself as the black sheep of the family. I hate that word! No one is allowed to label anyone else as the black sheep. No one!
I am different from my Wawa, Cheli is different from me, even you and I are different. So no one actually has the right label anyone as a black sheep. I wish I could make my bros see this.
At times I get really mad and wonder how in the world can he be related to me. When all this while growing up I learnt to always put my family on top and feeling responsible for my family, I don't understand why he doesn't have the same feeling.
I don't know whether dudes find it uncool to be a 'good boy'. Growing up, I'm used to being called 'anak kategis'. I don't mind being called that. I actually found it okay. *sigh* I really don't know.
Sometimes when he's in his storm, I feel like I've lost him. And when he tells me his story, I can't really understand him because I'm concentrating on making sure I don't lash out on him. I want to make him see that I know when he's lying and what really hurts me is that he won't confide in me. I CAN TOLERATE LOTS OF STUFF BUT NOT LIES.
*huge sigh* I don't know what to do. Even my sentences don't seem to relate to each other. I just can't think. I don't know how to make him see that his friends are nothing but fair-weathered friends and we, his family have and will always stand by him come whatever.
I've always thought that if he had a brother, things would be better. Because he'd have someone to talk about guys stuff to, to refer to, to complain about us sisters.
I don't know what to say to him.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to handle guy crisis.
I don't know.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A BROTHER. :'(
God please guide my family and I through this.
Sometimes I don't understand what's going on in his head. And at those times, gosh, I'd be really angry. I know it's hard to be the first-born male in the house. I know it's hard to live up to other people's expectations. I know the his teachers are always comparing him with us, the elder siblings. I know, I know. And I know, sometimes it pressures him so much that he's bound to label himself as the black sheep of the family. I hate that word! No one is allowed to label anyone else as the black sheep. No one!
I am different from my Wawa, Cheli is different from me, even you and I are different. So no one actually has the right label anyone as a black sheep. I wish I could make my bros see this.
At times I get really mad and wonder how in the world can he be related to me. When all this while growing up I learnt to always put my family on top and feeling responsible for my family, I don't understand why he doesn't have the same feeling.
I don't know whether dudes find it uncool to be a 'good boy'. Growing up, I'm used to being called 'anak kategis'. I don't mind being called that. I actually found it okay. *sigh* I really don't know.
Sometimes when he's in his storm, I feel like I've lost him. And when he tells me his story, I can't really understand him because I'm concentrating on making sure I don't lash out on him. I want to make him see that I know when he's lying and what really hurts me is that he won't confide in me. I CAN TOLERATE LOTS OF STUFF BUT NOT LIES.
*huge sigh* I don't know what to do. Even my sentences don't seem to relate to each other. I just can't think. I don't know how to make him see that his friends are nothing but fair-weathered friends and we, his family have and will always stand by him come whatever.
I've always thought that if he had a brother, things would be better. Because he'd have someone to talk about guys stuff to, to refer to, to complain about us sisters.
I don't know what to say to him.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to handle guy crisis.
I don't know.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A BROTHER. :'(
God please guide my family and I through this.
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