From A Friend, To A Friend

I know I'm supposed to blog about my family members but this issue just can't wait. Because I think it is important that I get this out.

People may think that life treats me good. I've been told so. And when people say that, I just smile. Because part of that may be true. You can say that as a kid, I've been sheltered from negative sides of the world. No, I know how and where babies come from ever since I was a little kid. So when my friends were still wondering where babies come from, I knew all the facts. My mom and dad explained it to us earlier on. I even know what sperm and ovum is. BUT, I didn't know how cruel humans can be. Umm, I think I'm going off the track already.

My point is, I may be sheltered from SOME of the negative sides of the world but not all of them. It can't be helped :) Life is life sweetheart.

I always try to find the positive side in everything because that's just who I am. I guess I inherited it from my Dad :D But it doesn't mean I'm never feeling down. It definitely doesn't mean that my heart was never broken. It doesn't mean that tears were never shed.

I trusted and was betrayed. I hoped and was let down. I loved and was hurt real bad. 

There were times when I cried myself to sleep at night, nearly suffocated by my own 'hingus' just to wake up the next morning and relive the same heart-wrenching pain. I had to put up a front and pretend to be strong for the people around me when I felt like I could die from the pain.

No one can shelter me from that pain, no matter how much they care for me. Neither can I shelter you, my friend. 

Everyone has crosses they have to bear. It may be in different forms but it's a cross all the same. And sometimes a friend can come around to help you with the weight of your cross (remember Simon of Cyrene?). So it's no shame to ask for help in this hard times, just like Jesus got his help from St. Simon. But there are also times when you have to continue the journey alone. That doesn't mean that the whole world is ignoring your pain. On Jesus' way up to Mount Calvary, while some people were making fun of him telling that he deserved his punishment, many others were crying for him and were ready to wipe off his sweat (remember St. Veronica?). And sometimes you might fall under the weight of the cross because it's just too heavy to carry and you don't have the energy to carry on. That's okay :) He fell too (3 times kalau nda silap). 

I know some cynics will say, "Jadi apa la Dia dapat lepas dia angkat semua tu? Kana salip juga kan? Hidup pun macam tu la, lepas ko susah-susah ko nda dapat apa-apa juga tu. Kena hina adala." 

Ya la, sometimes sya punya view on life pun pandai jadi cynical ba. Urang kan, biasala. But in times like this, look for the greater purpose. It's because of His death that you and I have the opportunity to dream of entering Heaven. Kalau nda, ba kirim salam seja la sama Heaven. Taapun bilang orang tua Kadazandusun. I try to apply the same principle in life. TRY sya bilang tu. Ko pikir senang ka mo ikut Jesus punya footstep? Maybe I can't die and save all souls, but but but in every difficulty I face I try to pull through (even if it means dragging my cross) I try to make it a living testimony of God's super awesome grace :) I'm not always successful with that though! Haha! Sebab my anger/impatience/kegeraman gets the best of me.

In every thing you do, hope for the best. Never ever stop hoping. Because besides love, hope is one of the best thing that you can give and receive :) I realize that in hoping you put yourself in risk of getting hurt. Tapi there's also hope that the best thing in life might happen to you kan? It's 50/50 chance la..hihi. Ba if you hope and nda dapat, move on and hope and strive for something else. Nda dapat juga? Move on, tingkatkan usaha and keep hoping. Hope keeps you alive, it really does. And that is why I would never lower my expectations. But in hoping, be logical juga la aa :D

God loves you. Even with your broken heart. Just like God loves me, even with my patched up heart :)

This will pass and make you stronger. I know right now you won't be able to see that. Because the hardest about friendship is letting go and moving on. But you will make it, I am sure of it :) 

Take it slow, it only takes one step a day :) We are always around to wipe the hingus. You just gotta let us know.