Friends & Feuds

Yes I know it is quite harsh to put the word 'friend' and 'feud' in the same sentence. But you and I know that it's the reality. As a girl, it's normal to have your own cliques with usually the same interest etc (I think this applies to the guys too). But even in the closest circle/geng paling karas, battles will happen. If it hasn't, then just wait for it. I am not being cynical or anything but that's just the way things are, you know? I've been in and out of my own circles so I have a say in this. Some times it's me who does the alienating (I am not proud of this) and some times it's the other way around. And then the alienated would find another group and start backbiting about the previous group. And that cycle goes on and on. Yeah, I got to admit that I did this a lot. DID. 

Right now I am just tired of it. As a girl, it's hard for me not to gossip and stuff. But I've witnessed so many friendships destroyed because of it that it just disgusts me. I try my best not to say stuff behind a person's back that I won't say upfront. I have always been a person who says things point-blank, now even more. I resolved not to coat my facts with sugar or pretty toppings. Instead, I try to serve it as it is. Some may like it, some may not. *sigh* Sya mo berusaha kasi turun tahap ke-hipokritan sya ba ni.

So.. The big question. Hypothetically, HYPOTHETICALLY.. if you're friends with A & B who secretly dislikes and talks behind C eventhough A & B acts as if they're okay if C to the whole world, can you still be friends with C?

My answer, HECK YEA. It's pretty tough but it can be done. I am through with taking sides. Malas ba sya. Furthermore, I am fast approaching my 21st birthday. That has to count for something right? I know that to some people maturity doesn't come with age. But as for me, I want my level of maturity to be directly proportional to my age.

How can it be done? Begini sya ajar ko. Bila A & B bercerita pasal C, ko block out tu cerita (proud to say I am good at this). Kalau nda dapat pun, try to ignore and don't pass any comments that might encourage them to talk about C. Do this when you're with C too. 

Just because you're friends with A & B, it doesn't mean that you can't be friends with C. If either of them feels that way, then that's too bad la. Go be friends with D, E, F...etc (banyak lagi huruf yang ada ba)

If you have nothing nice to say about someone or if the main intent of your comment is to hurt, be a darling and do this - SHUT UP. If you know something that you're not supposed to know - SHUT UP. It's not your secret to tell. 

Comments are essential and needed to improve one's self. But kalau setakat mo mengumpat ja, bagus nda payah. 

Syok juga ba meluah, tapi make sure you do something about it la kan.

MY KEY POINTS

1. If you have nothing nice/useful to say about someone, opt to be silent.
2. If it's not your secret to tell, don't tell.
3. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.Even the smallest lie can send a strong friendship tumbling down.
4. Be nice.
5. You may not know it, but gossip kills.
6. Think of the consequences before you say anything. (Agak2 juga tu mulut la kan)
7. Pandai2 la pilih kawan :)
8. Don't say anything about someone behind their backs that you would not dare to say in their face. 
9. GROW UP
   
   Ba sya penat sudah berhujah. Good night. May your lifestyle promote peace and love :)